Counseling #1 - 4
#1. What are the goals of biblical counseling?
One goal of nouthetic counseling is
to “foster… love toward God and love toward one’s neighbor which God commands”.[1] This counseling should minister the word to
unbelievers in an effort to evangelize or minister the word to believers in an
effort to help them along the path of sanctification.[2] In either case, it’s ministering the word in
love. “The overarching purpose of
preaching and counseling is God’s glory.
But the underneath side of that splendid rainbow is love.”[3] It is a constant pouring of God’s word onto
the counselee so that the Holy Spirit may regenerate wicked hearts for love for
God and love for other people. For
unbelievers, it is an opportunity to be granted the ability to repent to obtain
eternal life in Christ and begin to live for good works for Him (2 Tim. 2:25, 2
Cor. 7:8-10, Eph. 2:10). For the
believer it is exhortation to work out their salvation with fear and trembling
knowing all along that it is God that is it at work in them to complete the
good work that He has started (Phil. 1:6, 2:12-13). Paul explained it to Timothy this way, “But the goal of our instruction is love from
a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Tim. 1:5). The “instruction”
refers to the urging Paul gives him to stay in Ephesus to teach others not to
teach or believe false doctrines any longer because they promote controversies
(v. 3-4). The goal of doing that work is
love.
It is love that cares to speak the truth. The only absolute truth that we can speak is God’s word.[4] It is love that will run after someone to tell them they are about to fall off of a cliff. It is love that will cause someone to dive deep into mucky waters to drag out another person whose life is on the line. Christians know that the ultimate love ever displayed was when God “made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:21). God not only dove down into the mucky waters of our sin-depraved hearts to regenerate us, He (by means of the Holy Spirit and His word) bears with us to live lives of greater peace and joy through our tribulations (John 16:33).[5] As ambassadors for Christ, we all have the privilege and responsibility to run after people to warn them of the cliff that they are headed down, dive into the mucky waters of their personal problems, and offer them the only hope of true life – the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ. The goal of biblical counseling can be summarized in Paul’s letter to the Colossians, “We proclaim Him (Christ), admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom (God’s revealed wisdom), so that we may present every man complete in Christ” (Col. 1:28). “The goal of counseling is to change in conformity with God’s revealed will, not necessarily the (selfish) desires of the counselee”.[6] Helping a counselee see that none of the changes that they make in life are pleasing to God apart from a personal relationship with Christ might leave them feeling hopeless. However, they must first know that so they might receive the ultimate hope and comfort that comes from trusting God sincerely and loving Him with all of their heart, soul, strength, and mind (Mark 12:30). They must be counseled to live according to God’s ways and “not lean on your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Therefore, the term biblical counseling means to do just that, counsel by His word.
[1] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 54
[2] Sanctification is being conformed to Christ’s likeness while here on earth (though it is never fully complete here). For more on this see the response to Soteriology - #2 under the theology questions.
[3] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 55
[4] See the responses to Bibliology #1, 2, 3, and 4 for more on God’s word being absolute truth and ultimate authority.
[5] See response to Pneumatology #2 and 3.
[6] Jim Newheiser, The Basics of Biblical Counseling Course Syllabus, p. 5
It is love that cares to speak the truth. The only absolute truth that we can speak is God’s word.[4] It is love that will run after someone to tell them they are about to fall off of a cliff. It is love that will cause someone to dive deep into mucky waters to drag out another person whose life is on the line. Christians know that the ultimate love ever displayed was when God “made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:21). God not only dove down into the mucky waters of our sin-depraved hearts to regenerate us, He (by means of the Holy Spirit and His word) bears with us to live lives of greater peace and joy through our tribulations (John 16:33).[5] As ambassadors for Christ, we all have the privilege and responsibility to run after people to warn them of the cliff that they are headed down, dive into the mucky waters of their personal problems, and offer them the only hope of true life – the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ. The goal of biblical counseling can be summarized in Paul’s letter to the Colossians, “We proclaim Him (Christ), admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom (God’s revealed wisdom), so that we may present every man complete in Christ” (Col. 1:28). “The goal of counseling is to change in conformity with God’s revealed will, not necessarily the (selfish) desires of the counselee”.[6] Helping a counselee see that none of the changes that they make in life are pleasing to God apart from a personal relationship with Christ might leave them feeling hopeless. However, they must first know that so they might receive the ultimate hope and comfort that comes from trusting God sincerely and loving Him with all of their heart, soul, strength, and mind (Mark 12:30). They must be counseled to live according to God’s ways and “not lean on your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Therefore, the term biblical counseling means to do just that, counsel by His word.
[1] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 54
[2] Sanctification is being conformed to Christ’s likeness while here on earth (though it is never fully complete here). For more on this see the response to Soteriology - #2 under the theology questions.
[3] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 55
[4] See the responses to Bibliology #1, 2, 3, and 4 for more on God’s word being absolute truth and ultimate authority.
[5] See response to Pneumatology #2 and 3.
[6] Jim Newheiser, The Basics of Biblical Counseling Course Syllabus, p. 5
#2. Are the Scriptures sufficient for biblical counseling? Explain your position.
Yes, the Scriptures are sufficient for Biblical counseling. First, the Scriptures do not change. Second, they are living and active. Third, they are the only absolute truth and authority that we have. Fourth, the Scriptures constantly address personal relationship issues (between sinner and God and fellow man). Fifth, faith comes by hearing the message that Scripture brings – the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ. While this list is not exhaustive, the next couple of paragraphs will give the Biblical support for each of these reasons.
Personality, culture, and societal norms constantly change and influence secular counseling theories. When divorce was generally accepted as immoral, people were counseled away from it by any means necessary. Today’s society has accepted it (against God’s word) and it is now encouraged if it helps individual needs and feelings. The same has become true for abortion and homosexuality. Sadly, whatever society begins to accept is what people in the secular realms will be counseled to do. In contrast to our shifting values and cultures, God’s word never changes! “The word of the Lord endures forever” (1 Pet. 1:25), “Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven” (Ps. 119:89), and “not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished” (Matt. 5:18). It is the foundation that we must form counseling on because the shifts and moves of modern influences will drift us further from truth. In addition to never changing, it is complete, living, and active. The end of the Bible warns us not to add or take away from Scripture (Rev. 22:18-19) because “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him…” (2 Pet. 1:3). “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edge sword… able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Heb. 4:12). Man in his own wisdom cannot accurately judge the thoughts and motives of another man. Since God’s word says that it can, we’d be foolish not to use it as the tool for soul-searching. Much has already been said about the Bible’s authority and infallibility (read the Theology – Bibliology section), but briefly it must be pointed out that when there are opposing opinions on a topic we must turn to God’s word to see what the Holy One has Himself declared (as the Bereans were commended for in Acts 17:11).
The Bible is not an out-of-date book that cannot be applied to today’s time. The problems experienced in the Garden of Eden are no different than today’s issues. Adam and Eve disobeyed God, hid from God, and then started blaming each other for their own sins (Gen. 3:6, 8, 12-13). Is this any different from today’s marriage struggles? Paul stated that no problem is unique. He told the church at Corinth (1 Cor. 10:13) that what happened to the Israelites is also pertinent to them (v. 6, 11). We see through this how the Scriptures can be used to address so many basic common themes of sin. No problem is unique to a particular generation or culture.
Our greatest need in life is to be reconciled to God. To be first loved by God (1 John 4:19) so that we can turn from our love for darkness (John 3:19) to want to “love the Lord your God with all your heart…soul…strength…mind; and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27) is the only way to live rightly. “In the Bible all things are necessary to know how to love God and one’s neighbor. Counseling directly pertains to the intricacies of those matters.”[1] These interpersonal relationship matters have all been addressed by God. We can only live them out properly through salvation and sanctification.[2] We must use Christ’s words because “faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). In closing we must remember that God is a God of mercy and comfort “who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). God is so gracious to give us His word that is profitable for all our needs (2 Tim. 3:16) as well as a new love to obey Him as Lord.
[1] Jay Adams, Christian Counselor’s Manual, p. 18
[2] For more on “salvation” read Soteriology #1 and for more on “sanctification” read Soteriology #2.
Personality, culture, and societal norms constantly change and influence secular counseling theories. When divorce was generally accepted as immoral, people were counseled away from it by any means necessary. Today’s society has accepted it (against God’s word) and it is now encouraged if it helps individual needs and feelings. The same has become true for abortion and homosexuality. Sadly, whatever society begins to accept is what people in the secular realms will be counseled to do. In contrast to our shifting values and cultures, God’s word never changes! “The word of the Lord endures forever” (1 Pet. 1:25), “Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven” (Ps. 119:89), and “not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished” (Matt. 5:18). It is the foundation that we must form counseling on because the shifts and moves of modern influences will drift us further from truth. In addition to never changing, it is complete, living, and active. The end of the Bible warns us not to add or take away from Scripture (Rev. 22:18-19) because “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him…” (2 Pet. 1:3). “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edge sword… able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Heb. 4:12). Man in his own wisdom cannot accurately judge the thoughts and motives of another man. Since God’s word says that it can, we’d be foolish not to use it as the tool for soul-searching. Much has already been said about the Bible’s authority and infallibility (read the Theology – Bibliology section), but briefly it must be pointed out that when there are opposing opinions on a topic we must turn to God’s word to see what the Holy One has Himself declared (as the Bereans were commended for in Acts 17:11).
The Bible is not an out-of-date book that cannot be applied to today’s time. The problems experienced in the Garden of Eden are no different than today’s issues. Adam and Eve disobeyed God, hid from God, and then started blaming each other for their own sins (Gen. 3:6, 8, 12-13). Is this any different from today’s marriage struggles? Paul stated that no problem is unique. He told the church at Corinth (1 Cor. 10:13) that what happened to the Israelites is also pertinent to them (v. 6, 11). We see through this how the Scriptures can be used to address so many basic common themes of sin. No problem is unique to a particular generation or culture.
Our greatest need in life is to be reconciled to God. To be first loved by God (1 John 4:19) so that we can turn from our love for darkness (John 3:19) to want to “love the Lord your God with all your heart…soul…strength…mind; and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27) is the only way to live rightly. “In the Bible all things are necessary to know how to love God and one’s neighbor. Counseling directly pertains to the intricacies of those matters.”[1] These interpersonal relationship matters have all been addressed by God. We can only live them out properly through salvation and sanctification.[2] We must use Christ’s words because “faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). In closing we must remember that God is a God of mercy and comfort “who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). God is so gracious to give us His word that is profitable for all our needs (2 Tim. 3:16) as well as a new love to obey Him as Lord.
[1] Jay Adams, Christian Counselor’s Manual, p. 18
[2] For more on “salvation” read Soteriology #1 and for more on “sanctification” read Soteriology #2.
3. What are some of the important needs in the first session?
Throughout all counseling sessions,
particularly the first session, the counselor should be regularly in
prayer. “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all
generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (Jas.
1:5). Since the counselor does not yet
know the circumstances and desperately wants to get to the root issue, he/she
needs to ask the all-knowing One for help understanding and discerning the
counselee’s spiritual and practical needs.
The counselor must investigate. Consider
all that Proverbs has to say on this. “He who gives an answer before he hears, It
is folly and shame to him… The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the
ear of the wise seeks knowledge” (Prov. 18:13, 15). “The
plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, But everyone who is hasty comes
surely to poverty.” (Prov. 21:5). “The naïve believes everything, But the
sensible man considers his steps” (Prov. 14:15). “A plan
in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it
out” (Prov. 20:5). To summarize
using words from these Scriptures, a man is foolish, hasty, naïve, and should
be ashamed if he assumes he knows what’s wrong before listening. Instead, he is prudent, wise, and sensible to
draw the information out and carefully consider how to move forward. How does a counselor do this? He/she must ask open-ended questions that
thoughtfully draw out revealing responses.
These questions should be pointed yet gracious and stay relevant in
order to produce facts. The counselor
must take detailed, factual notes, listening carefully to what’s being said to
be able to plan to address the major spiritual problems.
The counselor must be careful not to jump to conclusions (Prov. 18:13) but should be using all of this information to make some hunches, write quotations, consider if other people mentioned need to be included, and how to solve some initial problems (or at least take initial steps towards it). It is helpful to have a side-bar when taking notes, so that topics and Bible verses to bring back up can be drawn in at the appropriate times without fear of forgetting or immediate need of interrupting. While a first session is primarily asking questions, the counselor must be careful to establish control. He/she must know when to cut-off or re-direct a counselee’s thoughts, questions, or statements. If the counselee does not already know, he/she must be informed that counseling will be centered on Christ and His word for He alone is our hope and joy as professing believers. With that said, it is very important to determine if the counselee is truly saved. While he/she may profess to be saved, knowing the evidence of fruit in their lives (or lack thereof) can help the counselor determine if the counselee needs evangelism (unbeliever) or sanctification/discipline (believer). All of the methods, strategies, concerns, and questions the counselor will develop must be bathed in prayer to avoid hasty conclusions or assumptions.
Saved or not, the counselee needs homework, Bible reading, and prayer assignments to be part of their daily routines immediately. In addition to offering the hope that is in Christ Himself (this must be done at the end of the first session), the work that they will be given to do will help them understand that it is not just 1 hour a week with the counselor where help is found. The Lord is always available and the counselee must be directed to seek Him every day multiple times a day. This is one of the main purposes of homework. The first homework assignment a counselor may want to consider giving is one where the counselee must examine him/herself to see if they are truly in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5). This would help the counselee determine his/her standing before God, consider repentance, forgiveness, and help the counselor determine the next steps. Before concluding, the counselor must exhort the counselee to return and commit to the homework. He must display (at least) a tentative plan and confidence to the counselee. The counselee must know the confidence is in the Lord and that being in His word gives the “hopeless” one who has “tried everything” so much more to try and look forward to.
The counselor must be careful not to jump to conclusions (Prov. 18:13) but should be using all of this information to make some hunches, write quotations, consider if other people mentioned need to be included, and how to solve some initial problems (or at least take initial steps towards it). It is helpful to have a side-bar when taking notes, so that topics and Bible verses to bring back up can be drawn in at the appropriate times without fear of forgetting or immediate need of interrupting. While a first session is primarily asking questions, the counselor must be careful to establish control. He/she must know when to cut-off or re-direct a counselee’s thoughts, questions, or statements. If the counselee does not already know, he/she must be informed that counseling will be centered on Christ and His word for He alone is our hope and joy as professing believers. With that said, it is very important to determine if the counselee is truly saved. While he/she may profess to be saved, knowing the evidence of fruit in their lives (or lack thereof) can help the counselor determine if the counselee needs evangelism (unbeliever) or sanctification/discipline (believer). All of the methods, strategies, concerns, and questions the counselor will develop must be bathed in prayer to avoid hasty conclusions or assumptions.
Saved or not, the counselee needs homework, Bible reading, and prayer assignments to be part of their daily routines immediately. In addition to offering the hope that is in Christ Himself (this must be done at the end of the first session), the work that they will be given to do will help them understand that it is not just 1 hour a week with the counselor where help is found. The Lord is always available and the counselee must be directed to seek Him every day multiple times a day. This is one of the main purposes of homework. The first homework assignment a counselor may want to consider giving is one where the counselee must examine him/herself to see if they are truly in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5). This would help the counselee determine his/her standing before God, consider repentance, forgiveness, and help the counselor determine the next steps. Before concluding, the counselor must exhort the counselee to return and commit to the homework. He must display (at least) a tentative plan and confidence to the counselee. The counselee must know the confidence is in the Lord and that being in His word gives the “hopeless” one who has “tried everything” so much more to try and look forward to.
4. Describe how to develop involvement with a counselee. What is the difference between empathy and involvment? Is this difference significant?
There is a stark contrast between involvement and empathy/sympathy. The secular view of support is to not become too involved with your counselee. This passive approach may mean well but falls short. Involvement is not passive but active. It determines to not simply show support from the sidelines but purpose to get off the bench, roll up one’s sleeves, and help dig the person out. The reality is that the love we need to exercise in counseling can only be understood from the Biblical perspective. Empathy and support have been drastically misunderstood (and as a result wrongly applied) to hurting people because of this misunderstanding.
Empathy can only come from entering into the problem so that it becomes one’s own. The Holy Spirit expressed this through Paul to the Romans when He commanded, “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). He later communicated to the Galatian church, “if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness… bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:1-2). It is not Biblical to express common emotions to someone and then simply act as a faceless mirror allowing the person to somehow work out their own issues. To do so is to be scared for someone who is drowning yet still watching from the shore. The counselor must become actively involved similarly to how God showed His love by sacrificially giving of Himself. “For God so loved the world, that He gave… (John 3:16), He “loved me and gave Himself up for me” (Ga. 2:20), “Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25), and “If your enemy is… thirsty, give him a drink” (Rom. 12:20) (emphasis mine). Jesus’ example of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:33-37 shows that loving care did not stop when the onlooker simply “felt compassion” (v. 33). The following verses shows that he “came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him”. This does not suggest mere kindness is enough. Morality is not the source of our hope. It is the love of God that must motivate the love with which we must counsel. As a result counselees must be constantly pointed to the love of God in His promises and the hope and work that the risen Savior accomplished. Because secular support excludes these promises and hopes, they harmfully deny the power of God. Such support is empty and vain.
Involvement is the first of 7 crucial steps that the Institute of Biblical Counseling and Discipleship promote.[1] While the goal must be love for God and one’s neighbor, “becoming too sympathetic to the complaints and excuses of the counselee” is a chief reason nouthetic counselors fail.[2] While counselors must be involved, the warning is to stay straightforward promoting God’s glory to the counselee in an authoritative approach. If the counselor is overly emotional the ability to observe sin and righteousness becomes clouded. A counselor must also be careful not to become an emotional crutch for a counselee. The emotional connection between the two needs to be strong. He/she must bear with their burdens and weep with them as they weep. The application of the counseling must not be hindered by emotions. Rather, the love, care, and concern for the counselee must be used to confront, exhort, and command the counselee to love the Lord their God with all of their heart. The counselor must pour him/herself into the counselee helping in all ways, knowing that ultimately the Lord needs to be at work in the counselee’s life and the counselee needs to be working to honor Him.
[1] Jim Newheiser, The Basics of Biblical Counseling Course Syllabus, p. 5-9
[2] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 58
Empathy can only come from entering into the problem so that it becomes one’s own. The Holy Spirit expressed this through Paul to the Romans when He commanded, “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). He later communicated to the Galatian church, “if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness… bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:1-2). It is not Biblical to express common emotions to someone and then simply act as a faceless mirror allowing the person to somehow work out their own issues. To do so is to be scared for someone who is drowning yet still watching from the shore. The counselor must become actively involved similarly to how God showed His love by sacrificially giving of Himself. “For God so loved the world, that He gave… (John 3:16), He “loved me and gave Himself up for me” (Ga. 2:20), “Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25), and “If your enemy is… thirsty, give him a drink” (Rom. 12:20) (emphasis mine). Jesus’ example of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:33-37 shows that loving care did not stop when the onlooker simply “felt compassion” (v. 33). The following verses shows that he “came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him”. This does not suggest mere kindness is enough. Morality is not the source of our hope. It is the love of God that must motivate the love with which we must counsel. As a result counselees must be constantly pointed to the love of God in His promises and the hope and work that the risen Savior accomplished. Because secular support excludes these promises and hopes, they harmfully deny the power of God. Such support is empty and vain.
Involvement is the first of 7 crucial steps that the Institute of Biblical Counseling and Discipleship promote.[1] While the goal must be love for God and one’s neighbor, “becoming too sympathetic to the complaints and excuses of the counselee” is a chief reason nouthetic counselors fail.[2] While counselors must be involved, the warning is to stay straightforward promoting God’s glory to the counselee in an authoritative approach. If the counselor is overly emotional the ability to observe sin and righteousness becomes clouded. A counselor must also be careful not to become an emotional crutch for a counselee. The emotional connection between the two needs to be strong. He/she must bear with their burdens and weep with them as they weep. The application of the counseling must not be hindered by emotions. Rather, the love, care, and concern for the counselee must be used to confront, exhort, and command the counselee to love the Lord their God with all of their heart. The counselor must pour him/herself into the counselee helping in all ways, knowing that ultimately the Lord needs to be at work in the counselee’s life and the counselee needs to be working to honor Him.
[1] Jim Newheiser, The Basics of Biblical Counseling Course Syllabus, p. 5-9
[2] Jay Adams, Competent to Counsel, p. 58